theambiguityreport: sans-pants: sans-pants: HOLY FUCKING GOAT’S PISS (I’ve watched this seven times in a row - still laughing) Look I posted this late last night and I really wish you’d all watch it and comment on how hilarious it is for crying out loud hurry up. This might be everything it is to be Australian in one video. Thank you new go-to phrase for when everything’s going...
Ways I Can Tell You're A Fuckwit:
clambistro: You’ve made “jokes” about Sarah Jessica Parker looking like “a horse”, or, You’ve speculated about Hugh Jackman’s sexuality because he’s married to Deborrah Lee Furness Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.
Thom Yorke dancing is best dancing of all
jodymacgregor: Well done, internet. You can rest now, your work’s complete. I want to live inside this gif.
Whatever has become of the Melbourne Cup?
Cup Day was mostly a strange time in my former workplace. Just me and the boss. Neither of us doing anything for the race itself. Not much point holding a sweep when there were only two people. It was actually a pleasant day to be in the office. No one called. No one bothered to email. The roads and cafes downstairs were quiet. Usually at around one o’clock each year the boss said the obligatory...
becks28nz: Doctor Who: P.S. (The Finale of The Ponds!) Find out what happened to Rory’s dad and the Ponds in this unshot scene by Chris Chibnall. Oh the tears, the wailing, howling tears.
clambistro: Thank you to all the young people making “jokes” about Neil Armstrong, you have confirmed your generation is doomed. Summing up my feelings quite nicely.
WHEN I START DRINKING TO WATCH THE OLYMPICS.
wheninmelb: AND THEN I REALISE THE TIME DIFFERENCE FOR THE EXCITING MEDAL EVEVTS: This neatly sums up the past four weeks of my life.
A Helpful Guide to Moving Interstate
The regular guide: Discard nearly everything you own. Calmly pack. Move The alternative guide: Create perfect “Packing to Move Interstate” playlist. Think up best possible hashtag for live pack-tweeting. Check Twitter. Check Tumblr. Check Instagram. Check Facebook. Open first cupboard. Oh jesus. Check ex’s Facebook. Check ex’s Twitter. Check Instagram again. Make executive decision that...
A quick summation of my week.
This was me at the beginning of the week … THIS IS ME NOW.
Daytime TV Advertising - AKA We Are All Going To...
I stayed home from work today. Sick. Possibly dying. Maybe just a cold and a migraine but I’ve seen Contagion so I know how these things start. After venturing out of bed four hours beyond the usual time I crawled (yes actually physically crawled) around to the sofa and switched on my lumbering, Mesozoic, barely functioning television. This was the first mistake. Daytime television isn’t exactly,...
New Improved Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
Meth, LSD, cannibalistic desires. Whatever the hell happened in Miami on the weekend, it’s caused me to rapidly reassess my zombie apocalypse survival plan. Most plans are relatively logical and consist of storing bottled water and food, obtaining some sort of high-grade weaponry, driving like mad person to big house in the country and starting small yet highly effective army. And then...
A top ten list of everything I will be suing.
Inspired by Geelong girl suing Geelong school for not making her all lawyer-smarts, I’ve been compiling a top ten list of all the people/things/places I’m now going to sue for failing me. 1. Joined gym three years ago and didn’t lose weight. GOING TO SUE GYM EVEN THOUGH I NEVER ACTUALLY WENT WHICH IS VASTLY IRRELEVANT. 2. Took pottery for one term at Community College. GOING TO...
On Being Brave
“Be brave!” It’s a line in the film version of War Horse as the cavalry ride into battle for the first and, as it happens, ultimately last time. Terror grabbing every face, Major Stewart calling for his troops to be brave in the second before they charge. It’s a line that stayed with me. God knows not much else from the movie stayed with me, except possibly some low-grade...